The Dark Web

THIS is the Dark Web?

Why can I never be making this shit up? Here's the story behind that secret.

The OC doctor is moving to DC. I had wanted to like him. For our second date he Ubered me to the OC to spend the weekend. The second morning Isabel shit his oriental carpet having scored too many treats in a visit to Hour Glass Optical. The doctor then mentioned he had a lot of work to catch up on and maybe we could cut the visit short.

I'd wanted to like the doctor because of a conversation we'd had about resentment. I shared with him my deep resentment of the City of Santa Monica. They actively withhold their resources from their immediate neighbor, West LA; the bus stops get dilapidated at the dividing line. I asked if there was anything he resented. He said "Yes, tree sap". It gets on his car where he parks. I expect the problem will be worse in DC.

We had no more contact till a couple months later when he contacted me to tell me he was moving to DC. I said I’d miss him. Here’s the conversation that followed:

That’s how I'm getting an antique dollie. Arguably, he did it to himself. But when dollie night rolled around the doctor confused me. He asked if he could sleep over before catching the Red Eye.

On that short night he was sweet. He held me and babbled about  how pretty I am. He's lots surer of it than I am. And he asked about Spike, my dog child in Heaven I didn't remember I'd told him about. That morning he left on my desk three hundred dollars of "doll funds". He said he'd call me when he got to DC. He did.