The Bunny Hop

A new high; I was just contacted on OKCupid by the 94 year old creator of The Bunny Hop. I admit it; I wrote him back. He used every cheap tool at his disposal when writing his profile, including links to his work, his closeness to Huge Hefner and his frequent visits to the Playboy Mansion (which technically Hugh Hefner is now renting for the rest of his life from its new owner). Anyway, Grandpa is sharp and Homey is shallow, so I wrote him back.

This will probably go the way it did with Pauly Shore. I was heartbroken Pauly Shore only wrote me once, since I had a nightmare years ago when I temped at MTV that I slept with him. I never have sex with anyone I want to in my dreams. It never goes all the way. But I frequently have fait accompli with people I would never want to sleep with.

I have a weird sense of poetic justic, so destiny saved me from myself in Pauly Shore. Though it didn’t save me entirely. I slept with his Comedy Store opening act, who was much younger, cuter and yes, funnier. It was coincidence. I wasn’t stalking Pauly Shore, Internet dating just makes strange bedfellows.